The 30th

by Sarah Doublesin @ 1:23am Thursday, May 3 2007
 

From my advanced calculations it seems that my 30th birthday is only 4 days away. And i'm still a student - a student at thirty!!! I am truly i'm convinced i'm still seventeen or so - and the wrinkes i see are just the reflection of the light or the fact that i've only slept for 5 hours.. or 15 or something.

But 30? How did that happen? only two years ago i was in my early 20's. And 2 or 3 years before that a teen and it could not be more than a year before that that i was 7.

And what have i done since then? Well of course i have had the baby - 9 months pregnancy and all. Well yes she is more fury than other babies and she does walk around on all fours but who has the perfect baby anyway? Right ok so i did get her from a shelter on a drunken weekend so there was no real real pregnency, but there may have been a mental incubation of the idea for that long.

So that can explain a year of my life. And i did go to Poland for a year to teach English and have a lot of fun. No, ok it was not so much fun but we did learn a lot. NO i do not remember what i learned! But that's another year.

And i did work for 2 years. Yes 2 whole years without quitting!!!

And i did a BA - 4 years more. So if we add that up it's 10 years. And one can't expect to be productive before 20 can they. So there. 8 years to be more precise. But i did work as an estate agent for 3 weeks and another 3 weeks as an advertising agent for an esteemed newspaper - that went bancrupt the following month and never paid me.
 

And i've done a lot of things with my life - honestly. To give a good example only today i changed my cursor to a cat curser. I destroyed 3 cars during my very short period on this earth - one knows that they are environmental hazards, moved house at least 30 times,(9 times in the past year and a half) lived in 6 different countries, lost my purse a minimum of once every 6 months, ingested every herbal remedy for every possible complaint and did at least 300 hours of psychotherapy and you can see the good that that has done.

I've also had astoundingly successful relationships. No i've never been engaged but that's not how I measure it. There were other gains. Yes i am single, completely broke, living in a dirty, minute house covered in mould that smells like fried rice. Yes i do sleep with a dog that has too much gas. Yes the highlight of my sex life in the past year does seem to be trying to get the dog to take interest in males of her species rather than my leg. But i a seeing a man and it has been 3 months and he's not homeless, unemloyed or an illegal imigrant. He even has a shower in his house!

And now i'm in London doing an MA so that can't be that bad. I might even finish this course, one never knows. Surely i'll be unemployed after that as there are no job opportunities in Dance Movement Therapy but who needs money. I have read of these cases where people trained themselves to eat grass, trap a rich man into marrying them, or robed the bank. Life's possibilities without cash are endless.
 

Yes my life in entertaining and colourful. Fancy a few weeks ago there was a fish in our loo. How many people can say that. Unless it was a turd.. with eyes.

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